Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Darts is bad.
We can write idiots quite well.
I eat a tin of sardines every day.
I don't believe in credit or loans.
I hate every moment of live performance.
I think 'the Mighty Boosh' are quite good.
You can have a mate for 30 years, it's easy.
I am increasingly of the mind that all fat is good.
When I was young, having a heart bypass was, 'Woooh!'
I've been brewing my own beer with this ex-army bloke.
I didn't think I had time for fishing before I fished.
I am allowed one matchbox-sized piece of cheese a week.
I was the youngest of four boys, raised in North Yorkshire.
Shooting Stars' changed panel shows a bit for ever, I think.
I don't think old posh is as intimidating as new posh, is it?
I hardly do any exercise because of my arthritis and my joints.
You see idiots on the net but on TV you can't really find them.
I get tempted to do a reality show because I enjoy them so much.
The best part of our lives is just every day when we are writing.
If you want the best audience, make your way up North to be honest.
I don't think 'Shooting Stars' has ever successfully been replaced.
Families At War' is a show we are very proud of. It was a great show.
When you've had a heart thing, a lot of the problems are psychological.
I go on 'Sunday Brunch' and Simon Rimmer's mashed potato is like heaven.
I love 'Big Brother.' I adore it. What can I say. It just suits me fine.
Comedy, if it didn't save my life, certainly gave me a very different life.
I like having something I can watch every single night. It suits my habits.
Laughter is the only currency I've really ever known. Ever since I was a boy.
House of Fools,' that was the first thing I was sad that we couldn't do any more.
I've started to get iritis, which affects the eyes. But I'm not going to give in.
I'm not a fan of stand-up comedy, personally. But some of them are incredibly skilled.
Our comedy is just falling over, funny faces, arguments, all the comedy basics, really.
Our new programmes have always just been different vehicles for the same sort of comedy.
Other people just look so comfortable with a book in their hands - I never feel like that.
We miss 'House of Fools' a lot. It felt a bit like a different and fresh show for British TV.
I have always been a bit of a recluse, but I really was after the heart thing. And everyone knew.
I was a solicitor once, so I'm truly grateful because I know what it's like to have a proper job.
There's nothing better than just staring at a buttercup, struggling to make an impact on the world.
I had three bypasses in one go, using arteries harvested from my leg and the right side of my chest.
It's like cooks don't watch cooking programmes - I suppose maybe comedians don't watch comedy shows.
Funnily enough, 'Shooting Stars,' that stupid little panel show, is the most influential thing we've done.
Rheumatoid arthritis generally happens when your immune system attacks your joints, but I've had it attack my iris.
I come from the era when that continental stuff, the skimmed yogurt and a croissant, was a healthy start to the day.
The wife and the kids provide my exercise, but I have to be careful because I have rheumatoid arthritis all over my body.
I'm not that interested in other people, and I don't have any friends, so I'm not really the ideal candidate for Twitter.
Performing in front of an audience gives you an extra ten per cent energy and the chance to react to the instant feedback.
They asked me to go on 'Hell's Kitchen' but I'm banned from reality TV by my wife. She's not up for that kind of tomfoolery.
After my triple bypass I got my sheet of healthy and unhealthy foods and I was like, croissants!?! Literally as bad as lard.
There are a lot of famous people who started out with us and became stars and I wouldn't swap my life with theirs for one second.
I saw Alan Davies on a show from the London Palladium and he did a nice routine about having kids or whatever. I couldn't do that.