Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
I always compare marriage to communism. They're both institutions that don't conform to human nature, so you're going to end up with lying and hypocrisy.
Greed can overtake smart.
Love does not conquer all.
The food is out of this world!
Denying racism is the new racism.
Religion is insanity by consensus.
Religion is bad and drugs are good.
Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor.
False hope really makes you cynical.
Germs do not have a political party.
Death is nature's way of killing you.
The Drug War is an addiction, really.
Canadian bacon isn't bacon. It's ham.
You can't get saved if you don't play.
Men are only as loyal as their options.
When we make mistakes they call it evil
You are what you do. It's about actions.
God makes trees, he doesn't write books.
A flu shot is the worst thing you can do.
The comedy gods are smiling on me tonight.
Stupidity is not another form of knowledge.
The "Power of One" is a slogan--not a goal.
It's all been satirized for your protection.
I think religion is a neurological disorder.
We're all gonna be gay if we get health care!
I'm not a joiner. I don't like organizations.
We don't do sensible things. This is America.
Cleavage is to a man what power is to a woman.
A flu shot just compromises your immune system.
In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.
In this country your guilty until proven wealthy.
To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.
Tea-baggers love the truth. They just hate facts.
Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
When I was 5-years-old, I knew who Khrushchev was.
Religion is detrimental to the progress of society.
If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?
If you think you have it tough, read history books.
Saddam Hussein is Hitler like Oasis was The Beatles.
I don't know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
Don't get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.
The answer isn't another pill. The answer is spinach.
Whoever needs the relationship less has all the power.
I hate religion. I think it's a neurological disorder.
Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.
Recognition is one of the three big elements of comedy.
I'm a pessimist by nature. A pot head, but a pessimist.
Ask your doctor if getting off your ass is right for you
There's no greater model, in my view, than Jesus Christ.
