Quotes by Bennett Cerf - Page 1

The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Happiness
Positive
Blessed
Laughing
Laughter
Spirit
Person
Who
Bring
Indeed
Room
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The Atomic Age is here to stay - but are we?
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Peace
Age
War
Atomic
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An oboe is an ill-wind that nobody blows good.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Blow
Oboes
Wind
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I don't stutter when I talk to God. He loves me.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
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Fame - anyone who says he doesn't like it is crazy
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Crazy
Fame
Madness
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Fame - anyone who says he doesn't like it is crazy.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Famous
Fame
Anyone
Says
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Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Fog
Politician
Ships
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Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Gross
Ignorance
Ordinary
Worse
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Good manners: The noise you don't make when you're eating soup.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Food
Cooking
Eating
Good Manners
Manners
Noise
Soup
Good Manners Good Manners
Good Good Manners Manners
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The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Detroit
Last Night
Lasts
Lost
Night
Played
Night Last Last Night
Last
Quartet
String
String Quartet
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Oratory is the art of making a loud noise sound like a deep thought.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Art
Deep Thought
Teaching
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For me, a hearty "belly laugh" is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Beautiful
Laughing
Sound
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For me, a hearty 'belly laugh' is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Belly
Hearty
Beautiful World Me
Laugh
Sounds
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Censor: A self-appointed snoophound who sticks his nose in other people's business.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Business
People
Self
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TV's sameness has destroyed many things, such as the American urge toward independent thought.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Independent
Tvs
Urges
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Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Birthday
Smile
Age
Classmates
Grey
Middle
Bald
Old
Middle Age
Recognize
Wrinkled
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One of the greatest threats facing book publishing, and the entire country for that matter, is censorship.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Book
Country
Matter
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There is a mass of people, we might as well admit, who if they weren't watching television, would be doing absolutely nothing else.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
People
Television
Would Be
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Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Food
Cooking
Speech
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In a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert's writing was hazy, Ep's statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Poetry
Crazy
Writing
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There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he's a college professor!
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
College
Teaching
Today
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One of the troubles of the day, observes Mr. C.N. Peac, is that once we came upon the little red schoolhouse, whereas now we come upon the little-read school boy.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Education
School
Teaching
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Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Men
Football
Years
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Television, I love it, everything that happened before television lumped together, never caused folks to turn on a street to stare at me, or waitresses to ask for autographs.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Television
Together
Waitress
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The fact that we don't read more books in America can be traced squarely to the fact that we have newspapers that are about a hundred times as big as the newspapers anywhere else.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
America
Book
Facts
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Do I believe in ghosts? Of course I do. So do you. Deep in the souls of the most sophisticated of us is lurking a fear of the supernatural which all the discoveries of scientists cannot eradicate.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Believe
Discovery
Soul
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I think it's become fashionable for the snobbish egghead today to make fun of television. I've heard many people, boast, "I would never have a television set in my house," well, these people are fools.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Fun
People
Thinking
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Most of the things that are supposed to be so objectionable in books are things that every teenager, in the United States, not only knows, but has talked about at length in school, or on the way home from school.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Home
Book
Teenager
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The fundamental difference between the mystery story and the ghost story is the fact that a mystery demands a solution for its effectiveness; a ghost story is necessarily unsolvable; the reader must be willing to accept the fact that nothing is proved.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Differences
Effectiveness
Ghost Stories
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I think the right to read, is one of our inherent rights, and I think that people in America today are intelligent enough to decide for themselves what they want to read. Without being told, by self-appointed people, you must not read this, or you cannot read this.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Intelligent
Rights
Thinking
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I can't say this too often - that a little humor can make life worth living. That has always been my credo. Somebody once asked me, 'What would you like your epitaph to be?' I've always said that I'd like it to be: He left people a little happier than they were when he came into the room.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Littles
People
Rooms
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They tell about a fifteen-year-old boy in an orphans' home who had an incurable stutter. One Sunday the minister was detained and the boy volunteered to say the prayer in his stead. He did it perfectly, too, without a single stutter. Later he explained, "I don't stutter when I talk to God. He loves me."
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Home
Prayer
Sunday
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Everybody was being decent, and when people are decent, thing work out for everybody. That has been my theory all through life. If you're making money, let the other fellow make it too. If somebody's getting hurt, it's bad, but if you can work a thing out so that everybody profits that's the ideal business.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Hurt
People
Work Out
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Reading is a pleasure of the mind, which means that it is a little like a sport: your eagerness and knowledge and quickness count for something. The fun of reading is not that something is told to you, but that you stretch your mind. Your own imagination works along with the authors, or even goes beyond his, yields the same or different conclusions, and your ideas develop as you understand his.
Bennett Cerf / Publisher
Sports
Fun
Reading
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Bennett Cerf Quotes - Page 1

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