Quotes by Aziz Ansari - Page 1

Stand-up comedy is a raunchy profession.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Comedy
Profession
Stand Up Comedy
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A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Stand Up
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I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Obsessed
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I know my fan base is a smart group of people.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Base
Smart People Know
Fan Base
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I weirdly do consider myself an optimist about love.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Optimist
Consider
Weirdly
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Acting is a plum gig, and then animation is an even more plum gig.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Acting
Animation
Then
Even
Gig
Plum
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I guess my music taste is pretty predictable: I like new indie rock stuff, older stuff.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Predictable
Stuff
Taste
Pretty
Older
Guess
Indie
Rock
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Once you become a comedian, you accept that people are just going to yell stuff at you.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Comedian
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I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Cook
Dishwasher
Japanese
Table
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With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
People More Interesting
Successes
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I like the brand Band of Outsiders. Their suits are cut really slim, for smaller framed gentlemen.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Band
Framed
Outsiders
Slim
Suits
Brand
Cut
Gentlemen
Smaller
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Being a rapper is about being cool, but being a comedian, you're not supposed to be the coolest guy.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Comedian
Coolest
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It's the hardest thing to come up with an hour of material that can consistently keep people laughing.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Consistently
Hardest Thing
Hour
The Hardest Thing
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Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Dream
Funny
Drunk
Influence
Shooting
Your Dreams
Dreams Yourself Your
True
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Even in my stand-up, there's a lot more positivity and enthusiasm rather than negative, I-hate-everything vibes.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Enthusiasm
Negative
Positivity
Vibes
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I live in L.A., I go on tour all the time, I'm in New York half the year - it's very hard to be in a relationship.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
New York
Goes On
Half
Years
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I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat. When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Tour
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One of the big things I miss about New York is not my friends so much; it's Shake Shack, the burger place. I miss Shake Shack.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Big Things
Shack
Miss
Burger
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The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Influential
School Rock High School
Chris
Chris Rock
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I have an amazing metabolism. I'm sure that'll be gone one day. But I like to exercise, too, so I don't think I'll ever get really fat.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Metabolism
Fat
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For the majority of the time, I may as well have been just a really tan white kid. You know, I may as well have just been, like, a fat kid.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Majority
Tan
Fat
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Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Best Work Hope
Just Kind
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Why would anyone get married and have babies? That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my life. Or the scariest thing I've ever heard in my life.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Life My Life Why
Babies
Dumbest
Get Married
Scariest
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Most single people I know, myself included, have a difficult time even meeting up with the people they like, be it busy schedules, texting games, or whatever.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Busy
Schedules
Texting
Time Myself People
Time Myself Busy
Difficult Time
Included
Meeting
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Other than friends and family, my favorite things are New York and stand-up. I love doing comedy in New York - I can do way more stand-up here than in Los Angeles.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Los Angeles
Angeles
Love Family New
Favorite Things
Friends And Family
Los
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After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times, and then one night it'll flop.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Bunch
Flop
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I don't think you can describe your ideal girl. A big part of that is just meeting someone and really clicking with them and wanting to hang out with them all of the time.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Big Part
Time Your Someone
Clicking
Describe
Hang
Ideal
Meeting
Wanting
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You go to any Jay-Z concert, and he plays his hits. Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on. It's the hardest thing.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Hardest Thing
Rely
Comedians
Concert
Hits
Hour
Jay-Z
Plays
The Hardest Thing
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Some comedians will tour and do these classic bits all the time. But now with YouTube and Comedy Central, people see your stuff, and they don't want to hear you do that again.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Bits
Classic
Comedy
Stuff
Youtube
Again
Central
Comedians
Comedy Central
Hear
Tour
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I'm so jealous of people who have crushes on people they go to school with or work with. That's such a blessing. You actually get to see them all the time and spend time with them.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Jealous
Blessing
Time Work People
Crushes
Work Time People
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I'm so jealous of people who have crushes on people they go to school with, or work with. That's such a blessing. You actually get to see them all the time and spend time with them.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Jealous
Blessing
Crush
School
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I'm the kind of person, if I see something, like a funny video, I want to share it. With Twitter and Tumblr you can do that on a mass scale, and people get to know your personality.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Mass
Video
Twitter
Scale
Tumblr
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I'm always down to try a new burger, but Shake Shack is still my top. What makes them so special is for the bread they use Martin's potato rolls which is just the best hamburger buns ever.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Bread
Shack
Burger
Hamburger
Martin
Potato
Rolls
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I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't, but I thought: 'What the hell?' So I went to an open mic night, and I liked it.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Asked
Liked
Mic
Tried
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Like with 'Parks and Recreation,' it's so much fun because the people writing it are funny and they're open and you just go in there and have a good time. It's pretty much the easiest job I've ever had.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Parks
Recreation
Funny Time Good
Easiest
So Much Fun
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With stand-up, I can have an idea, go down the street to a comedy club and work on it, flesh it out, book a venue, people will come, then film it. I do all that myself; I never have to answer to anybody.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Work Myself People
Comedy Club
Venue
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I guess after college, I just got really into food. I also think going on the road doing stand-up makes you more into food. Because when you travel like that, one of the things to do is find really good places to eat.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Travel
College
Good Food Travel
Guess
Places
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The whole idea of love is scary - so is being with someone for the rest of your life and being happy with them for the rest of your life. There's lots of research to suggest that, actually, love's not really that simple.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Being Happy
Love Is
Scary
Life Love Love Is
Life Love Simple
Suggest
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Myself, Eric Wareheim, and Jason Woliner decided to start a Food Club where the three of us go to restaurants with a couple of other people. The three of us are the captains of the Food Club, so we have to wear the captains' hats.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Couple
Decided
Eric
Hats
Jason
Restaurants
Club
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Every single person, pretty much, is taught what they're supposed to do: go to school, get a job, find someone to love, get married, have kids, raise the kids, and then die. Nobody questions that. What if you want to do something different?
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Single Person
What If
Get Married
Raise
To Love
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It's hard to really get that excited about movies. Think about it like this: how many good comedy movies come out a year? Maybe one or two? And then, in those movies, what are the chances that there's a character that I'm the best fit to play? It's really small!
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Best Good Movies
Chances
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When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour. I try to eat at all the weird places, the obscure barbecue joints, burger places. There are a few spots in L.A. that I'm obsessed with - one of them is the Taco Zone taco truck on Alvarado. There are secret off-menu items that are amazing.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Amazing
Barbecue
Comedy
Items
Joints
Obscure
Secret
Spots
Truck
Zone
Weird
Much
Burger
Few
Well
Places
Taco
Tour
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Every time I've done comedy in, like, traditional comedy clubs, there's always these comedians that do really well with audiences but that the other comedians hate because they're just, you know, doing kind of cheap stuff like dancing around or doing, like, very kind of base sex humor a lot, and stuff like that.
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Humor
Clubs
Dancing
Sex
Traditional
Time Done Always
Audiences
Base
Cheap
Comedians
Every Time
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After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times and then one night it'll flop. And that's when I really take a hard look at myself and say: 'Well, that crowd is obviously wrong. That crowd has absolutely no idea what it's talking about.'
Aziz Ansari / Actor
Bunch
No Idea
Myself Look Night
Flop
Hard Look
Material
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Aziz Ansari Quotes - Page 1

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