To be honest, I don't think I've played bad for England, I've certainly not been as bad as some people say. That criticism has been hard to take. I don't think I've let the country down too many times.

You just want to play. You don't think about the money, how many followers you've got on Instagram. You just want to make it. You don't understand the demands, how intense it is at times - the scrutiny you're going to get.

I can picture it now, where I grew and me playing in the cage where I used to play. To see what I've achieved and where I've been, the countries I've seen, tournaments I've played in, players I've played against, it's incredible.

Soccer players in L.A. can kind of just walk the streets. They have bigger people to take pictures of. They see Sylvester Stallone walking down the street, I don't think they are going to want an Ashley Cole picture, to be honest.

My worst fears were confirmed as Thierry and I sat in the centre circle after the final whistle. His name was sung from the rooftops, while my contribution was recognised by a deafening silence. It was like I was the invisible man

In football, you can't always have it your own way. You can't always have the good times. You are going to have bad spells and periods when you are not playing well. It is something I have to deal with. I have learnt to deal with it.

It is kinda strange when people know exactly where I've been because they saw it in the newspaper. But this is the culture we live in now, where people are interested in what you're doing on holiday, so we have to just basically accept it.

I never think I want to go to another World Cup just to be in the record books again and play in six tournaments or four World Cups. If I am lucky enough to go, I want to go there to fight for my place and win something in an England shirt.

I watch football sometimes at home, but in my downtime, I play pool with my friends. Darts - I enjoy darts now, and when there is a game not coming up, I enjoy playing golf as well. I'm not very good at golf, but I enjoy being able to relax.

When I heard Jonathan [Cole's agent] repeat the figure of £55k-a-week, I nearly swerved off the road. 'He is taking the p**s, Jonathan!' I yelled down the phone. I was so incensed. I was trembling with anger. I couldn't believe what I'd heard.

I have been able to fulfil nearly all my ambitions at Chelsea. I have won the Champions League, the League, I have won FA Cups here, but you don't want to stop winning trophies, and being at a big club, you are always fighting to win a trophy.

At the end of the day, I'm human. I'm English - I was born here. Of course I'm a different colour from you, but I'm still human. The main thing is, I'm human - like everyone else. Because I'm a different colour doesn't mean there is a difference.

Gary Neville said he thought it was a waste of time playing for England because he has not won anything. I kind of understand where he is coming from. But the players we have here, a lot of them have won things and have the attitude that we need to win.

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