Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I'm a strong fellow.
I like movies about failing.
I can't not put humor in a book.
I never wanted to be a director.
Movies are an expensive business.
I never liked going in the ocean.
Twitter is the Devil's playground.
Relaxation is the absence of worry.
I cast unusual people in my movies.
There's nothing funny about flying to Houston.
I'm not Elvis. I don't get chased by paparazzi.
Be generous and you can be the best person who ever lived.
I take anything other than 'you big pig!' as a compliment.
I've seen the future! It's a bald-headed man from New York!
I don't experience basic human emotions. It's not my thing.
Excited about Black Friday. Also excited about Jew Tuesday.
So I think if you're happy with your brain, you're powerful.
If you want to be a writer, just write. There's no magic to it.
I was in Kashmir last weekend. Went to visit one of my sweaters.
Nothing surprises me. After Donald Trump, nothing matters, does it?
A lot of alliteration from anxious anchors placed in powerful posts!
Most entertainment is trying to get you. It's tested, like toothpaste.
My humor is traced with dark - I've got dark patches all over the place.
I'm not interesting enough on my own that you'd want to see a film about me.
You make friends with older people and you always feel young no matter what.
I don't want to get close to people who have secrets that I don't know about.
I come from the place where I am thinking 'I have put my blood on the pages.'
I don't want to be the one to break it to you, but the future ain't that funny.
Regrets are stupid; they don't mean anything and they don't add up to anything.
I, sort of, got into comedy accidentally, and it got bigger than I wanted it to.
I think anger and laughter are very close to each other, when you think about it.
If we had 3 million exhibitionists and only one voyeur, nobody could make any money.
Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive?
The biggest waste of brainpower is to want to change something that's not changeable.
Your spouse should be just attractive enough to turn you on. Anything more is trouble.
Acceptance is going to a restaurant where the salad's not great, but the steak is fine.
I've never been disappointed, because I've never given somebody I liked that much power.
You always got to be happy when somebody likes what you do. It's stupid not to be happy.
Don't worry, and don't kick yourself forever. Just take the opportunities when they come.
In the beginning of any career, in every job, people are always forcing you to the middle.
You can equate acting to a tennis game: When you're playing one of the best, you get better.
Starting to drink now in preparation for New Years. No more last minute stuff like Christmas.
Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender.
I just like making people laugh, and buried in that I like to bring up topics and start discussions.
Donald Trump announces this morning that he will run for president. His hair will announce on Friday.
I studied acting at Carnegie Tech in Pittsburgh because I figured a good comedian certainly could act.
When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up.
How many people didn't get a part who would have been better than the person who got the part? Thousands.
I'm not a big fan of the post-Armageddon stories, where Denzel Washington is walking around in a torn coat.
If you're going to act and do this for a living, you want to play something that the audience didn't expect.