Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
How can you get bored if the audience is cheering and laughing at something you're doing?
It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.
People that were a little nerdy in high school would look up to me and know it gets better.
Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.
I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self service pump.
I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse, put me on Donahue.
Buy our album, were Nirvana, a garage band from Seattle. Well, it sure beats raising cattle.
I don't watch a lot of other people's parodies because I don't want to be unduly influenced.
My personal taste doesn't enter into it a lot when I make my decisions as to what to parody.
The music has always been my bread and butter, and I've focused more of my attention on that.
That's something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.
By the time I'm in the studio recording my parody, 10,000 parodies of that song are on YouTube.
When I go to my live shows it's often a multigenerational audience, a family bonding experience.
I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem that time that you made it with the whole hockey team.
There are probably a few library fines I haven't paid yet, but I'm a pretty clean-cut guy overall.
I've always enjoyed animation and voiceover work. That's something that I've been proactive about.
When I swore that you're getting more and more beautiful everyday. Well, I was only kidding, honey.
I try not to go the obvious route all the time, but sometimes the most obvious is actually the best.
People say releasing an album is like giving birth, but it’s more like having a gallbladder operation.
You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will.
You can try on our suede underwear if you choose. Do what you want, but don't step on my blue suede shoes.
I think my chances of ever making it into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame are about as good as Milli Vanilli’s.
I'm just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.
I do a lot of different things, sometimes at the same time, and it's very difficult to figure out where I fit.
I think that nerds, if you want to call them that, have only gotten more hip and assimilated into the culture.
There's enough people that do unfunny music. I'll leave the serious stuff to Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline.
I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend one more minute with you.
I know now that everything I write, I'm going to put out, and I'll have to live with it for the rest of my life.
As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”
As it turns out, there is a thing called the Internet, and stuff does go out there whether the suits like it or not.
So I'm one of the few celebrities that got to do a repeat performance on 'The Simpsons,' which I'm very flattered by.
I enjoy all kinds of music. But it is kind of strange when I do parodies, instead of setting up drums and guitar amps.
Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I'm praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.
Ever since the day you left me, I've been so miserable, my dear. I feel almost as bad as I did when you were still here.
I mean, I hate to gloat, but I'm extremely satisfied with my position in life and the way things have worked out for me.
The irony is of course that my career has lasted a whole lot longer than some of the people I've parodied over the years.
There are a lot of songs that would ostensibly be a good candidate for parody, yet I can't think of a clever enough idea.
As much as people are griping about the Internet taking sales away from artists, it's been a huge promotional tool for me.
Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.
Boys like Peter are afraid of alot of things, like nuclear annihilation and flunking algebra, but they're not afraid of wolves.
As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.
I've done a movie and a TV series, and someday I'd like to do a successful movie and a successful TV series. That would be nice.
If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.
He died a long painful death. However, you'll be happy to hear that just a few years later he was reincarnated as Shirley MacLaine.
I like the guitar-driven music of Nirvana at its peak. At that point, I thought there was a lot of really exciting music coming out.
Sometimes I get, "Have you ever thought about doing real music?" I like to think the music I do is real, it just happens to be funny.
The window doesn't open, the fan is broke, and my face is turning blue. I haven't been in a crowd like this since I went to see the Who.
My velvet Elvis means the world to me. Although he may not be worth much dough, he means more to me than some old Rembrandt or Van Gogh.
I love the way they run in fright when I turn on the kitchen light. And when I squish them on the ground, they make a pleasant crunchy sound.
In the '80s, I was putting out an album virtually every year, I think mostly based on fear - that if I didn't, people would soon forget about me.