Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.
When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.
Having an actual income can expand your romantic horizons toward the more appealing end of the spectrum.
Bob Dole used to be really funny. Barney Frank can be kind of funny. Bob Kerrey has a good sense of humor.
The nature of the Internet and the importance of net neutrality is that innovation can come from everyone.
It's really building Air America that I'm focused on, and for me, that almost only means doing a good show.
Net neutrality isn't a government takeover of the Internet, as many of my Republican colleagues have alleged.
Teen pregnancy went way down in the '90s, and 75 percent of it was because of increased use of contraception.
I just can't sit still and meditate; that doesn't kind of work for me. I don't even know exactly what it means.
Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written "Today I will masterbate--if I want to!
When the president during the campaign said he was against nation building, I didn't realize he meant our nation.
I'm a bit of a shill for the Clinton Administration, which has its perks. I'm invited to all the inaugural balls.
Liberals don't hate America. We love America more than Ann Coulter does. I love it enough to engage my readers honestly.
Minnesota has a proud tradition of having two Senators on the Ag committee - a tradition I'd like very much to continue.
I don't know how many of you have been to New York, but if a building is two blocks away from anything, you can't see it.
I don’t know how many of you have been to New York, but if a building is two blocks away from anything, you can’t see it.
I believe in not attacking a country pre-emptively unless you're sure of what you're doing and you're working with allies.
When you win an election, what you really win is a chance to go to work for working families who need a voice in Minnesota.
Russia has cultivated an opaque network of patronage across the region that it uses to influence and direct decision- making.
Skepticism turns to cynicism, which leads to apathy and despair, which can cause sleeplessness, dry-mouth, and loss of sex drive?
There is - I mean - I found early in life that righteous indignation is a little off-putting, and so I try to couch it with humor.
Russia has a strategy of creating the conditions that give rise to corruption, then exploiting that corruption to its own benefit.
He [Newt Gingrich] is the most unpopular politician in America. His favorable rating is only four points higher than the Unabomber.
When you live in New York, one of two things happen - you either become a New Yorker, or you feel more like the place you came from.
I ask the American people not to fall victim to disinformation. There are no death panels. The Affordable Care Act cuts the deficit.
I believe people have a right to know what's going on with their information and how it's collected, how it's stored and who gets it.
Being a comedian, you're under pressure. You have to deal with stress and pressure to perform - to deal with pressure without stress.
Why don't we focus on what Afghan women can do? They can cook, bear children and pray. As I recall, that was fine for our grandmothers.
I had a great time working on the movies, both the major movies I've done. I've had a great time. I like the people in Hollywood a lot.
Why don't we focus on what Afghan women can do? They can cook, bear children, and pray. As I recall, that was fine for our grandmothers.
Terrorism, to me, is the use of terror for political purpose, and terror is indiscriminate murder of civilians to make a political point.
When the Constitution was written, the founders had no way of anticipating the new technologies that would evolve in the coming centuries.
We know that the Russian's interfered in our election and they did it to benefit President Trump. The intelligence agencies confirmed that.
If you use a cell phone - as I do - your wireless carrier likely has records about your physical movements going back months, if not years.
Antitrust law isn't about protecting competing businesses from each other, it's about protecting competition itself on behalf of the public.
You can't change your fingerprints. You have only ten of them. And you leave them on everything you touch; they are definitely not a secret.
In my first week as a U.S. senator, I had the privilege of participating in the Supreme Court confirmation hearing for Judge Sonia Sotomayor.
Demagoguery sells. And therefore, radio stations will put it on. But that doesn't mean that you can't do something else and also make it sell.
If we have George W. Bush as president, we're going to go back to the kind of policies we had when his father and Ronald Reagan were president.
I grew up in Minnesota, where we treasure our tradition of civic engagement - and our record of having the nation's highest voter participation.
At 'SNL,' I wrote political stuff, but I never felt the show should have an axe to grind. But when I left in '95, I could let my own beliefs out.
Most of us here in the media are what I call infotainers...Rush Limbaugh is what I call a disinfotainer. He entertains by spreading disinformation.
Putin has had many positive experiences working with Western political leaders whose business interests made them more disposed to deal with Russia.
We need an investigation, because we don't know what Donald Trump owes Russia. We don't know how many Russian oligarchs have invested in his business.
Technology is an incredible tool - it connects people to each other, creates jobs all over the world, and makes life easier for millions of Americans.
There's an appeal to the American sense of exceptionalism, that we're morally superior, as way to not be self-critical. I think that's a bit dangerous.
We need to start by having a conversation about climate change. It would be irresponsible to avoid the issue just because it's uncomfortable to talk about.
Changing technologies, changing marketplaces, and even changing trends in anti-competitive practices have all presented challenges to antitrust enforcement.
There's going to have to be investigations, and an independent investigation, into the Trump campaign and the Trump administration's relationship to Russia.
The way I see it, I'm not going to Washington to be the 60th Democratic senator. I'm going to Washington to be the second senator from the state of Minnesota.